So it Goes

     As you probably guessed from my last post, my anxiety has been in a heightened state today and now it's gotten the better of me.  It all started out with ice cream.  I still have some cotton candy ice cream left over from my birthday party that I've been trying to finish off and I decided that it would be better if I had a cone for it.  There's a convenience store near where Brian and I live and Brian offered to walk over and buy me an ice cream.
     Coca-Cola has their song lyrics promotion going on and I'm trying to find a bottle of Diet Coke with the lyrics from Dirty Dancing.  It's one of my goals for the summer.  I decided I'd follow Brian over and check the cooler at the store to see if they had any bottles with the lyrics I want.  However, by the time Brian's ready to leave, I'm not feeling so well.  It's already hot in the house, but it feel like the temperature has spiked about ten degrees.  My gut's feeling heavy.  As Brian and I reach the street the store is on, I start feeling nauseated.
     We get to the store and I decide that I can't go inside.  Maybe I would have felt differently had we brought the car, but some part of me is like, what if I go in there and I get sick?  Then I'll have to walk all the way home sick and what if I can't walk that far?  I think about turning around and walking home by myself, but I wait outside while Brian goes in and gets the waffle cones.
     Brian comes out five minutes later with the cones.  He had forgotten where the soda cooler was, so he hadn't been able to check that for me.  As soon as he and I start making our journey home, I feel a lot better physically.  Inside, I feel like I've let myself down.  I'm fine now.  Why couldn't I have walked into the store and made my way over to the soda cooler?  It would have taken me hardly any time at all.  In all likelihood, I would have been fine.
     We get home.  Brian fixes me an ice cream cone.  I ask him to take a picture of me with my ice cream so I'll have a photo to go with this blog post.  He obliges.  I eat my ice cream while writing this post.  I still feel bad about not going inside the store.  Anxiety sucks.